psalm for the year zero while thinking of andrea feldman's suicide note

still sick after three days of
fever and chills

the language as black
as crows at my face and
history just begging to be rewritten
and so i give you warhol as
jesus christ

a man resurrected in the year
of my birth and to
complete the holy trinity
i add pollock and the ghost
of ian curtis

i give every shadow the same
uneasy weight tanguy would

and when the sky isn't blue
and it's not quite grey and the hills
have all begun to fade in
the afternoon heat
i know that i'm home

i recognize these
streets of rusting white houses

i understand that i will not feel safe
until my wife and son pull
into the driveway

this is the weight that fear
adds to love

this is the threat of rain

of people i've walked away from
arriving unexpectedly to
remind me of who i used to be

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