Orpheus and Eurydice: 2 letters
I took your heart with me.
I meant to leave it at the door.
I meant to leave it where you could find it
for I know that you will need it
in the hollow that is absence.
I found it in the pocket of my raincoat.
How could I have put it there?
I found your love tangled in my hair
curled and sticking to the jade comb in my hair.
I found your taste in my mouth
my lips aflame with words of your making.
My words are breathless urges,
detained desires, soundless aims,
unstrung intentions on a cracked bow.
all my steps backwards strain
back to you
back to that beshrouded shape upon the ground
pennies on her eyes.
I ran out to find you
in the crass dawn light,
against the advice of my physician.
Our house burned down behind me,
our road churned up as well;
our mail box cracked, the forest failed.
The way was hot and hard
From western hills to Asian heights.
Doubt the clouds before me.
I had your brush in my hands,
Your watch in my pocket.
your body lies sealed in a box.
Red rumors rushed into my path,
with sharp grappling hooks:
"She found gold in Alta."
"She pitched to Barry Bonds."
"She rafted the Susquehanna, half way to China."
"She canceled her subscription to Time’s magazine."
"She made another life
on the moon behind old Mars.
She took another name
in the smoothness of the gone."
I halted in my travels
as the sky went grey.
Overhead arced stars
I sang out hymns to find you
to the round edge of the earth
to the dim edge of the sea.
In the deafness of your sleep,
you did not hear me.
©2009 by Deirdre Feehan
Deirdre Feehan was born and raised in Los Angeles,
California. She received a BA from Immaculate Heart College and an MLIS from UCLA.
She works as a cataloger of rare books at the University of Southern California.
She published a photographically illustrated children's book, ABC
starring Teddy and his friends in 2004. In 2006 she published a short story,
"Landscapes," in the zine Byzarium. She studies poetry and fiction
at UCLA's extension program, and is presently working on a novel.